While I was on the church website recently I made the mistake of clicking on the archived recording of my first sermon from last May. Ever done that? Ever reviewed a recording of yourself giving a speech or presentation? Ugh!! It's excruciating isn't it to see and hear yourself publicly speaking? You tend to be hyper-critical of every little mistake in your delivery and overall presentation and appearance. As I watched the sermon clip I cringed at how twitchy I was- lots of constant nervous movement, my hands flailing about and I paced back and forth too. With my day job I’m in court all the time and so one would think that form of public speaking would help a little here. I think I’m comfortable speaking generally but it’s enormously humbling when it comes to speaking from the pulpit. Pastor Jamie has even commented that all of one’s nervous ticks become even more evident when preaching.
What made me cringe even more while viewing my sermon was the fact that I spoke with a speech impediment- a lisp. A lisp is the inability to enunciate the letter "s" clearly and it comes out as a "th" sound. Jesus, for example, comes out like “Jethuth”. I know that I had to take speech therapy classes for this when I was in 6th grade. I don’t think it’s as bad now as it was then but I guess I just never realized that it was still audibly noticeable some 30 years later!
The ridiculous thing is that my lisp, which is obvious to everyone else, was new to me. I was so mortified that I even Googled local speech therapists and online speech impediment exercises to try and correct it. I’m so self-conscious now I even try to avoid speaking words spelled with an “s.” It’s embarrassing and I also think some people associate a person who speaks with a lisp with having low IQ. Oh that’s just great. How am I ever going to get anyone to listen to me if they already presume I’m some kind of a moron?!? (Although I assure you I might very well be an imbecile with or without a lisp.)
I dunno but just maybe this little self-revelation of mine is a metaphor for life and our self-image we think we project. When in actuality we’re blind to all these little peculiarities apparent to everyone but ourselves. Boy, I felt so much better about myself living in “blithful ignoranthe.” But as I’ve shared before as part of my testimony, perhaps this is yet another recent instance- albeit public and embarrassing- that God uses to humble and disciple me. I’m better off because of it no doubt.
Pastor Neil preached last week we shouldn't compare ourselves with others but be thankful for who we are. But I can't help it I envy and covet all you people who can clearly pronounce your “s”. I thought of suing every one of you. But then again, it occurred to me that God uses all of us either because of or in spite of our imperfections. Besides, better speech won't draw me closer to God or give me greater clarity of thought in the Word when preaching. My only hope (and prayer) is that the message within the actual spoken Word undeniably overcomes my own human limitations. As Apostle Paul wrote of his own weaknesses, “God’s grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in weakness.”
During corporate prayer at the Alpha retreat last weekend I spoke a prophetic word of knowledge to another for the first time in my life.  . . and whew, the particular word didn't have a single "s" in it to have to pronounce. Amen to that, God is good!

From Pastor Mark’s Heart
November 25, 2012

The season of Lent is upon us.  This past Wednesday was Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of the 40-day period of fasting and prayer for many Christians in preparation for Easter.  There are, however, 46 days from Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday, the day before Easter Sunday, so how do you explain the seeming discrepancy?  Since Jesus Christ resurrected on Sunday and since all Sundays – not just Easter Sunday – were to be celebrated for Christ’s Resurrection, the Roman Catholic Church, which began the tradition of Lent, excluded Sundays in its calculation of the 40 days, which incidentally was to mirror Christ’s 40 days of fasting in the desert before He began His public ministry.
At the dinner table on Ash Wednesday, my daughter Stacey point blank asked me, “So what are you giving up during Lent, Mom?”  As a pastor, I wish I could tell you that I had earnestly prayed about it long before Stacey asked me and had an answer right away, but I had not really thought about it so I was caught off guard.  I had to come up with something really fast without letting anyone know that I am panicking.  I was tempted to say I was going on the Daniel Fast, giving up meat for Lent, but I was in the middle of chowing down on pork barbeque.  The thought of giving up Facebook crossed my mind briefly, but FB is a valuable ministry tool for me, keeping an eye on how my beloved congregation members are doing spiritually and otherwise (I hope that doesn’t sound too creepy, like I am stalking people on FB!).  I could’ve said I would give up drinking soda or eating chocolate, but I felt like that would be more from a selfish motive to improve my health or lose a few unwanted pounds.   I managed to mutter, “I am still thinking about it,” and quickly changed the subject, praying Stacey would not push me further.
Since then I’ve been thinking about what, if any, God may want me to give up during Lent this year.   I couldn’t help but wonder if my effort to achieve a heightened state of spirituality and purity during Lent by giving up certain pleasures in life would really impress God, knowing full well that once lent is over, my life is most likely to return to business as usual.   Worse yet, I may even indulge in the things I gave up during Lent to compensate for my ‘sacrifice,’   much like people who gain weight during Ramadan,  the Islamic holy month of fasting, by excessively eating and drinking all night while fasting during the daylight hours.  That would be a classic example of following the “letter of the law” while disregarding the “spirit of the law.”    Even well-meaning Christians can err the same way if giving up something for Lent inadvertently causes us to have a sense of self-righteousness or  to judge others with a ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude.   As honorable as people’s efforts to observe Lent are, we have to be very careful to check our intentions and guard against spiritual pride because “knowledge puffs up while love builds up.”  
So, if you cannot decide what to give up for Lent, here’s a thought: how about adding something to your life during Lent?  Instead of focusing on you – all that you are giving up or sacrificing, how about adding something that helps you focus on someone else in need?   I believe ultimately that is the true spirit of Lent, to serve those God has brought into our lives, just as Jesus Christ came to meet our needs; to reconcile us with God so we can have the gift of eternal life.  Lent is indeed an excellent time to be reminded of what Jesus said, “I tell you the truth; whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me,” and put it into practice.  So this Lent, you may still see me eat meet, get on FB, and eat tons of chocolate, but I hope and pray that you will also see me surrender myself to serve His people each and every day as I am compelled by the love of Christ.

From Pastor Sara’s Heart
March 9, 2014