The other day I almost got into a car accident because I was distracted.  No, it wasn’t because I was texting (although that is very dangerous – seriously!).  No, it wasn’t because I was dancing like a madman to my favorite Kpop song (also dangerous both for car accidents and pride).  It was because I saw a white nose hair in my rearview mirror and was trying to pull it out.
Now, I’m used to white hairs.  I’ve had a bunch, mostly in the back of my head, since I was 10.  This always led to interesting conversations on the first day of classes where inevitably, whoever was sitting behind me would tap me on the shoulder and ask, “Do you know you have white hair?”  To which I would always reply, “Your breath smells,” and turn back around.  I was quite popular in high school.
But a white nose hair was a first!  And I was so shocked at seeing it that I had to pull it out the instant I glimpsed it, in order to a) verify its existence and b) commiserate at my getting older.
I’m not a guy who gets caught up in getting older.  If I die, I die.  It’s ok, I have life insurance.  And frankly, I don’t “feel” old – I’m still “cool,” right, Timothy?  Actually, just asking that question probably precludes me from being “cool.”  Nevermind, Timothy, I don’t care what you think.  (That’s a “cool” attitude, right?)  But even though I never cared about getting older, for some reason this white nose hair was really bothering me and got me freaked out.  I started wondering if I had reached the halfway point of my life.  Would I be able to see my sons graduate college?  Would I be able to see them move into my basement after graduating college?  Would I ever have my retirement home in beautiful New Jersey?  Those are all jokes – of course I’m going to retire to New Jersey, don’t be ridiculous.
I did spend a lot of time thinking about my sons though.  Josiah is 2 and Connor is 0.  They’ve got such a long way to go and I started thinking about what kind of men they’d be when they grow up.  What they would look like (hopefully mom), what their personalities would be like (hopefully mom).  What careers they would have, who they would marry, what their OWN kids would be like.  I was getting so deep into it that I actually had to stop and remind myself that my kids still poop in their own pants.  “Slow down, David.  Before you start worrying about your grandkids, why not enjoy the time you have with them now?”
This reminded me of Dr. Shamblin’s message last year about understanding the times in our lives where we find ourselves in the spiritual desert.  How instead of focusing on the promised land, we should be focused on where we are currently at and what God is doing in our lives at THIS moment versus what may happen tomorrow.  No matter where we are or what we’re going through, God is very purposeful in the situations we find ourselves in, and there’s always a purpose for God.  Oftentimes, we focus so much on the future and worry about what could or could not be that we don’t get to enjoy or learn from what we have in front of us right now.  For me, freaking out about my kids’ futures would preclude me from enjoying their toddler years now.  Tomorrow will come, with all of its worries and stresses whether I want it or not.  But what I do know is that His grace is sufficient for me today… and it will be tomorrow, too.
All this from a white nose hair that turned out to be a booger.  Go figure.

From Pastor David’s Heart
August 17, 2014

I am reading through the book of 1 Samuel for my personal devotional time these days. Unlike the M’Cheyne Bible Reading Plan ‘homework’ that I feel obligated to complete each day, I enjoy the freedom to be able to read and meditate upon as few or many verses at a time, waiting on God to ‘speak to me’ through His Word.  In 1 Samuel Chapter 6, the Philistines, who had captured and kept the ark of the Lord for seven months, frantically try to send it back to the Israelite territory because God afflicted the Philistines everywhere the ark was moved to.  After consulting with their priests, they get a new cart and hitch two cows that have recently calved and never been yoked.  They put the ark of the Lord on the cart and send it on its way.  If the cart reached the intended Israelite territory despite these ‘unqualified’ cows, they would know that it was not a coincidence but the hand of God that has caused the great disaster upon them. 
The cows go straight up to the destination without turning to the right or to the left, but the Bible also records that they lowed all the way.  This part really got to me.  Because I am a mother, I could relate to these cows- how sad they must have been to have their calves stripped away from them.  In addition, this was their first time being yoked and hitched to a cart.  Indeed they suffered greatly both emotionally and physically.  And for all the suffering these cows endured, I expected a happy ending for them.  The Bible, however, does not say that the grateful Israelites freed the cows, allowing them to find their way back to their calves. 
Not even close.  The Israelites were so happy to get the ark of the Lord back that they chopped up the wood of the cart and sacrificed the cows as a burnt offering to the Lord!  Instead of all the other available cows, two never-been yoked, nursing cows were taken away from their calves to be used by God, and what do they get for their sacrifice?  They become a burnt offering!  I was furious.  What kind of justice is this, Lord? 
As I sat there in my anger, God began to ‘speak to me,’ not in an audible voice, but by revealing His heart to me:  
God:  “Do you know what life is like for cows?”
Me :  “Eat, poop, work, sleep, & repeat. They eventually get killed and eaten by people.” 
God:   “Then which is better – to be slaughtered to fill man’s stomach or to be offered as a
 burnt offering to the Lord to renew the relationship between God and sinful man?
Me:  “. . .”
God: “It wasn’t a sacrifice, but a privilege for those cows to be chosen by Me.”
God revealed to me that it was not about the cows, but about me. I felt enraged by the final destiny of the cows because I saw myself in them.  In ministry I often feel like an unqualified cow hitched to a cart. But I am able to keep going, telling myself, “Hang in there. You will receive a great reward for all your sacrifices.”   There is nothing wrong with this statement of faith except what we often consider a great reward, such as successful ministry, recognition from men, or financial security, may not be what God has in mind. God doesn’t want to give us just good things, but the very best according to His glorious riches and grace.   “Thank you, Lord, for the privilege of being a burnt offering for you.  May you be honored and glorified, not through what I do for you, but through how I trust you no matter what.”

From Pastor Sara’s Heart 
August 10, 2014