Next month I turn 53. I know this is very shocking to many of you because I do not look that old. Maybe 49, but certainly not 53! Sometimes I am shocked myself when I have to tell others how old I am. I still feel like a little kid, okay maybe not that young, but certainly like a young woman in my heart, but the fact of the matter is I am old enough to be a grandmother. I know many people who are already grandparents at my age or even younger! I cannot imagine being a grandmother right now, but I am sure when the time comes (sooner than later I hope, okay Daniel and Stacey?), I will handle the new role like a pro. After all, I used to say, “I cannot imagine being married” yet have been married for almost 28 years. I used to say, “I cannot imagine being a mom,” and now I cannot remember what my life was like before kids. Though it’s hard for me to imagine holding a grandchild in my arms, I am sure I will love it when the time comes. I look forward to enjoying my grandchildren, but the part that I look forward to the most is being able to send them home with their parents whenever I need my own time! Hallelujah!
Let me not be carried away too far here. Why am I talking about grandchildren when neither one of my children is dating anybody, unless of course they are not telling me something? With all kidding aside, however, I pray for my children, not just to have an easy, comfortable life, but to have their God-ordained destiny fulfilled. I trust in God’s perfect timing and His perfect match-making skills. So I resolve not to nag my children about their rather ‘quiet’ social life!
Back to the point about my getting old, in the past, celebrating my birthday each year was no big deal for me. I am not a very emotional, sentimental person (yes, you guessed it. I am a Choleric!), so it never really bothered me that I was aging. That changed a few months ago when my right shoulder began to hurt so much that doing simple everyday tasks such as lifting grocery bags or putting on clothes became very challenging. When I finally went to a physical therapist, I was told that my shoulder was in the process of ‘freezing’, not because of an injury, but simply due to aging. Till then my age was just a number in my head, but it really hit home that I was getting old. At the same time, however, just as Paul’s thorn in the flesh acted as a constant reminder that God’s grace was sufficient for him, my shoulder pain has served as a good wake-up call that life is indeed short. I mean it’s not like I am going to die due to should pain, but I realize that I am not in the prime of life any more, that I have a limited number of years and limited physical mobility and energy left to serve God and His people. What I took for granted all these years, my health and my time, may be fast fleeting. That realization compels me to be more purposeful and intentional on how I live each day. I feel like I’ve been Martha for the most of my life, but this aging Martha now has no option but to become more like Mary, sitting at Jesus’ feet, spending more time listening than doing. That’s a very good thing. So I choose to thank God for my ‘freezing’ shoulder. I do hope my shoulder heals completely one day, but even if it doesn’t, I shall consider it my thorn in the flesh and confess “God’s grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in weakness.” King Solomon has said, “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come.” I second that. Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of not being able to lift your arms fully to worship Him come!
From Pastor Sara’s Heart
February 15, 2015