It dawned on me a couple days ago that Thanksgiving is less than 2 weeks away!  That means the most stressful time of the year for me - the time between Thanksgiving and the New Year - is fast approaching.  When I was younger, Thanksgiving as well as other holidays used to stir up excitement and nostalgic emotions in anticipation of big family gatherings and subsequent feasts.  However, since I’ve married and become a daughter-in-law in an ever-expanding family – 34 family members over four generations and still growing – this time of the year has traditionally been an anxious and stressful time for me.  As much as I enjoy spending time with my family members, I do not look forward to the many hours of house cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, gift buying, gift wrapping, more cooking, and more cleaning. 
And it does not help that December is one of the busiest months of the year ministry-wise.  With various Christmas and end of the year programs and services along with the Timothy Winter Retreat, I have to confess that I don’t feel as peaceful and joyful as I should.  As special and important as each of these events is, it can definitely be a case of too much of a good thing.  I consider it a privilege and honor to be a woman pastor, but during times like this, I find it really challenging to balance my time between fulfilling my role as a mother and a daughter-in-law and being a dedicated pastor.
I realize that this struggle, however, is not unique to me, but is shared by all working women who try to balance their time between their family and work.  The age-old debate between stay-at-home mothers vs. working mothers is a very sensitive one.  As a mother who’s always worked outside the home while my children were growing up, I have mixed feelings about the topic. I do not believe one option is necessarily better than the other.  I’ve observed many mothers at our church over the years on both sides of the fence, but have not been able to form a definitive opinion on the heated debate.  I can, however, say pretty comfortably, that a mother’s influence on her child does not proportionally correlate to the amount of time she spends with her child, her highest level of education, or her financial resources.  Mothers who are able to exert their Godly influences the most, thereby helping build a solid foundation of faith that their children can build upon, are the ones who are confident about and content with being unconditionally loved by the King!
This will be the very first Thanksgiving that I will be celebrating without my mother since she passed away back in February.  I miss her very much, and Thanksgiving dinner will never be the same without her. My mother was not well-educated or rich.  She did not have any worldly accomplishments, and she was sick a lot throughout her life.  By the world’s standards she did not have much to offer to her children.  However, she knew who she was in Christ. She never pretended to be someone she was not or to have what she did not possess.  She was confident about her salvation by grace through her faith in Jesus Christ and was thankful for the littlest things in life despite her struggles. Her attitude of thanksgiving and contentment in Christ left an indelible mark upon her children.  I hope and pray to influence my children as much as my mother did.  So as stressful as it is to be a married woman with children and a pastor during this busy season, I thank God that He created me to be a woman. I wouldn’t trade it for anything!

From Pastor Sara’s Heart
November 11, 2012

The tragedy of the South Korean ferry disaster has gripped the hearts of many people ever since the news broke out.  This tragedy seems especially painful because more than two-thirds of the passengers were high school students on a field trip to the island of Jeju.   What was supposed to be an once-in-a-lifetime trip for the 300+ students turned out to be a nightmare.  The ferry became a mass grave as so many students were trapped inside.  At the time of this writing, the death toll has reached more than 150, and what was once a search and rescue operation has officially turned into a recovery mission.  My heart broke when I read one article about the divers finding many students with broken fingers because they were trying so desperately to escape. 
Though I did not faithfully follow the news, I’ve heard enough through many articles shared via various social-networking services. There is a lot of anger and frustration lashed out, and rightfully so, against the utterly irresponsible and incompetent captain and his crew who abandoned the ship, against the shipping company that neglected its crew’s training for emergency evacuation procedures, and against government authorities that do not take public safety seriously.  Everyone has an opinion as to who or what is to blame for this heart-wrenching disaster.   It is in our nature to want to punish the bad guys quickly and move on with our lives.    Yes, we must talk about what went wrong so this kind of tragedy will never reoccur, but I feel like that task should be left to the experts, and that takes time and patience. 
I couldn’t help but ask myself, “what if I were one of the parents whose child was trapped inside?” How would I have responded?  Fast and pray?  Declare in the name of Jesus that God will miraculously save my child?  Protest in anger what kind of a loving God would let such a wicked thing to happen to innocent children?”   Probably a combination of all of these...that’s why I was so moved and challenged when I read a prayer titled “But even if He does not,” by the father of one of the students, then still missing:
“I’d be thankful if my son, Jung Min, returns home just as Jonah repented inside the fish and came out. But even if not, I am grateful that my beloved son has salvation, that he is a child of God.  Through this incident, I pray that all God’s people confess that God is sovereign over the life and death, blessings and curses of all things. I pray that we realize we are not permanent residents, but travelers passing through this short life. While we still have breath, we should live as witnesses of Christ.  Thank you all for praying for us.”
His prayer reminded me of Daniel’s three friends in the Bible, who declared, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it… But even if He does not, we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold. . .”  Now that’s genuine faith – an unshakeable confidence and assurance in God’s goodness, sovereignty, authority, and justice no matter what the outcome may be. Hebrews 11:6 says, “Without faith, it’s impossible to please God.”  I believe the faith of Jung Min’s father is indeed pleasing to God.   We often proclaim “God is good all the time!  All the time God is good!”  But the real test of our faith - whether our faith is in God, the Giver, or in His gifts - comes through tragic times this.  When we face various kinds of trials that shake our faith to the core, I pray we remain anchored in the love of God the Father.  He did not lose His Son to a freak accident, but willed and carried out Jesus’ cruel execution for our salvation.  “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom 8:38-39)

From Pastor Sara’s Heart
April 27, 2014