So we approach the year’s end. Another year of life happening at even greater leaps and bounds especially as we get older. We face the ongoing challenges (and pressures) living out the “American dream” from an early age throughout adulthood- achieving academic excellence, advancement in our careers, acquiring material wealth, marriage, family and so on and so forth. We fret (and hover) as parents over our children’s development and well-being. As Christians at times we struggle reconciling those pursuits with what our Faith compels us to do.
This year NCFC endured profound change the likes of which it had never experienced before. Who could’ve ever imagined at the start of the year how different it would be for everyone within less than a year’s time? And yet despite the transition of such magnitude this congregation remains together steadfastly resolute as a local church body of Christ. Not all churches would respond to this kind of crisis in the same manner. But I would like to think God individually confronted us with this intentionally with a specific purpose in mind for each and every one of us.
It’s been my observation that it’s often in the times of crisis that we seek God. Whenever we suffer hardship- whether physically, spiritually or materially- we go to God in prayer. God loves to hear from us in all things- not only in times of need but also in times of thanksgiving and confession, for example. But as I have shared before, if God only hears from us in our time of need and crisis then perhaps indeed God obliges us with need and crisis in our lives as our means of communion and dialogue with Him. That is, until we realize and experience a better way. As we have discovered, being driven into a barren isolated “wilderness” in life is not a spiritual attack to be resisted. This may be God’s intentional way of stripping away the distractions of this world in order to get us to surrender to His will and purpose in our lives rather than our own.
Personally, the self-reflection and spiritual growth I’ve experienced in the last 6 months at church has been life altering for me. I am an argumentative realist/cynic by profession. It’s been brutally humbling but at the same time necessary and transforming for me in my pastoral ministry to have gone through these times in order to be broken to myself.
I wouldn’t wish stress and hardship upon anyone and none of you are as stubborn and foolish as I am to bring that upon yourselves. But if hardship is what it takes to bring about beautiful transformation God intends in your life then I applaud you for your perseverance. Amen to that.

From Pastor Mark’s Heart
December 29, 2013

I usually try to take care of family duties on Mondays. Well, I should say that’s what is expected of me because I am not home much on the weekends due to ministry stuff.  At times, my wife writes “TO-DO” lists so that I don’t become lazy and waste the whole day. Although I complain that she expects too much from me, I do appreciate her so much for being a “super mom” and that she constantly challenges me to become a better husband and father. God has indeed blessed me beyond measures with a perfect partner to share my life with. I am forever grateful for her… except for the days when we get into fights and end up not talking for a couple days or so. Yes, as a pastor, I should know better not to let the sun go down while we are still angry at each other (Eph 4:26). But it doesn’t always happen that way.    
As a result of a recent conflict with my wife, I had a bad incident this past Monday morning. She didn’t notify me of our minivan being very low on fuel so the car just died on me right after I buckled the kids into their car seats to take them to school. After spending so much time and effort in the freezing weather to pump in gas, my hands were all frozen and I spilled gas all over my hands. So I was very annoyed at myself for not properly resolving conflicts with my wife because my wife would have warned me of the low fuel light on our “normal” days. She probably forgot to mention it because we didn’t talk to each other for the entire weekend. To add to my frustration, even Reina was annoyed at me that she was late to her school. And why did it happen on the day that my parents and my sister went out early in the morning for a hospital visit? Everything just didn’t go right for me on that morning all because I failed to deal with unresolved conflicts with my wife.
How do you resolve conflicts? There is an article that I came across that presents 5 different ways people resolve conflicts. Find out which one you can identify with and learn the “carefronting” way to preserve relationships. (Refer to the source for more detailed explanation)
 
The Win-Lose Strategy: Seeing everything as right or wrong. No “gray” whatsoever.
Avoidance: May end up with weal and superficial relationship. Avoiding conflict at all costs in often a sign of weakness and insecurity.
Giving In: Yielding to others to maintain peace. People pleasers
Compromise: Sometimes both parties may give up something important to them and high risk of ending up unsatisfied and unhappy.
Carefronting: The two parties must agree to come together, commit to preserve the relationship, creatively find a solution that satisfies both sides, utilize reason over emotion, separate the person from the issue, and strive for a solution that will bring peace. 
Source: <http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/trevinwax/2013/08/13/5-western-styles-of-managing-conflict/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=5-western-styles-of-managing-conflict&repeat=w3tc>

From Pastor Brian’s Heart
February 2, 2014