Happy Father’s Day
Boy, it’s Father’s Day again it kind of crept up on the Summer. It’s a nice idea to honor dads but as a holiday compared to Mother’s Day we are a distant second, an afterthought. Last month when the church Mission Support event was scheduled for this afternoon none of the 3 pastors (all fathers) even realized it was on Father’s Day. I think my wife pointed that out to me later, oops. So not even the Dads are paying attention to our own special day either.
I joke of course. But we fathers don’t necessarily need that kind of outward gesture of appreciation and affection. Unlike mothers we don’t automatically relate to or identify with the emotional bonds that exist, or ought to exist, with our children. It’s complicated. We’re not comfortable with the emotion of it. We were raised by a generation of fathers of a past traditional paternal role where all this touchy feely kind of close relationship was not expected.
So the modern role of the father has changed for the better but we struggle with it. Our own fathers were not that relational or affectionate and so we’ve had to find a path to our children’s lives on our own. It’s especially challenging for a father and son to be close. I love being a father to my 11 year old son Julian but I struggled early on with my own issues before he and I had a stronger relationship. I wasn’t close to my own father growing up. Oh sure I have fond childhood memories of doing lots of fun things with my father like on family vacation at the beach and going salmon fishing together. But later on as I grew older it was more difficult to find common ground between us. And as a young adult I didn’t want to listen to my father or anyone else for advice and so my relationship with him became even more strained. So after high school and even college he and I were distant, even though I still loved him but we had no way of expressing it.
But there comes a time as we grow older that we start to know and appreciate our parents as adults and so the relationship evolves to a mutual friendship. Of course the Bible says for us to honor our parents and I think it’s a challenge for the guys especially to honor their fathers. But as time goes by we age and mature and all of those obstacles that held the relationship back before hopefully fall by the way side and what remains is the love and appreciation for one another.
Happy Father’s Day!
From Pastor Mark’s Heart
June 21, 2015